The Diamonds - Letting Go
Jan called me late one night, upset. She lives with her boyfriend, Tom, in her home and found a pair of diamond stud earrings on her living room carpet today. Knowing these were not her own, she asked Tom where they came from. Tom gave her an explanation, he had a female business person over while Jan was at work to discuss a business proposition and she must have lost them. Jan gave this some thought, didn't buy his explanation and returned to Tom with more questions. Tom's answer was completely different from his first, obviously an additional, poorly construed cover up. Needless to say, a fight occurred, a third story was revealed and Jan became quite stressed at the dilemma of what to believe, calling for my advice.
My advice was: No matter how you fret, worry or pace, know that you were not there when the diamonds were lost and no matter how you wish it, chase it, pursue it, you will never ever know if you have been told the truth. You know this from the simple fact that you have been told three completely different stories (thus two or more lies) and you will never in your heart, be confident that you know the true story. Even if Tom confesses, "Ok, this is the truth: yadda yadda" even then, you will never be sure. So. Let it go.
Accept the fact that you will not know the truth. Make it unimportant in your heart to know the true story, Know the one truth: you are being told lies.
Decide on your actions or feelings concerning Tom based on simple decisions:
You do trust him, yes or no?
Can you live with someone you do not trust? Yes or no. Act accordingly.
It sounds very simple, hard, cold, cut and dried, but then life is exactly that sometimes. It's nice to think that we can forgive, let others hurt us, we will survive. And you will. But at what cost to yourself? There comes a point in time when you decide to control your life and your thoughts and emotions. The only way to do this is with logic. Once your life is in control logically, the emotion is free to feel all the love, beauty and wonder that the freedom of the right choices allows, endless!
I have shared this story with countless people since it occurred, about twenty years ago. It has gone on paths I will never know, but I have sent it out with prayers that it helps just one person to understand and control their own path. Learning to accept what is, opposed to what one wishes, is a difficult task but worth every moment of effort one spends to accomplish it.
Written by Sharry Anne Stevens 1994, all right reserved
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