Truth /trooth/ n. 1 quality or a state of being true 2 what is true
What is true? The day is cold. For me the day is cold. You are telling me that to you, the day is warm. Instead of arguing about it, or insisting that one of us is right (thusly making the other person wrong) I can accept your truth is true for you, and you can accept my truth is true for me. Even if I think the sky is blue and you think it is green, for you, it IS green. That is your truth, as safe, as sound and as sane as my truth is for me.
What is really so? In order to look at any situation, there are a few mandatory steps. You have to be in a logical mode, not an emotional one. You have to be objective, not subjective, and you have to really be truthful. No added colourings, leave off exaggeration, get to the raw basic facts and truths. Then look at them, honestly. Then, look again. What is really so for you? What is really so for the other person?
Fights occur because a conflict occurred. If you trust this person you are angry with, and are running on the belief that trust means this person would never willingly, intentionally hurt you, and if you also believe that you are the only person who can hurt your feelings, then we must have a major conflict of what is true somewhere.
Take it a step further. You said I was being downright silly. I think your comment was mean. We won't go into hurt feelings right now, because I am clear that I am the one who hurt my feelings, not you. I simply think your comment was mean, hurtful and truly unnecessary. I know I was being silly, I enjoy being silly once in a while. I can remain quiet (thusly building up garbage that leads to severe damage) or I can calmly and quietly let you know that in my honest opinion, in my truth, that was really a mean comment. Just wanted to let you know. Oh, you didn't think it was all that bad, and it was true, I was being silly? Being silly is ok, but you thought my timing was bad? Okay. Let's move on. I have more stored information about the differences in our truths for future reference.
My love and I both cook the night time meal, depending on who has a taste for something in particular, our moods, who found a new recipe, or who is less tired. One night, he said he would cook the meal if I would do the left over dishes. I was having a piece of chicken, we were both having rice and asparagus, he cooks gravy for his rice. (Curry mayonnaise is the best excuse in the world for having asparagus!!) Time passes, we are talking about our days, children and animals run in and out, he announces dinner is almost ready. Well, his is. He didn't do my chicken!! Ouchie, ouchie. Bite my tongue. "A wise woman is silent". My surprised and confused look brought out the comment, "I thought I would let you cook your chicken." (Gee, and you were going to tell me this when?) Breathe. Silence. Think. You trust him. I am not going to allow my feelings to be hurt. What's left? Look at my truth, and look at his truth.
My truth was that he said he was going to cook dinner while I do the dishes left over from earlier. Cooking left my mind. Whoosh. Gone. His truth was that if he was not interested in having a piece of chicken, and I was, then I might want to cook my meat, especially in light that he has never cooked it for me before, and I do have my peculiarities about the way my food is cooked. He just forgot to mention this a bit earlier.
No biggie. Honestly. Yes, it would have been nice to have discovered this twenty two minutes ago (it takes twenty minutes to cook) but he had one heck of a day at work and is going to have a very tough week, lots on his mind. Instead of turning the situation into an argument, I settled my mind about what had just happened, and rapidly popped a chickie in the oven. Okay, my rice and vegies were cold, he had eaten most his meal by the time I sat down, but all in all, life is too short to let this turn into a mountain. But, the next time I am having chicken and he isn't, I will remember that night, and pop a chickie in the oven!
Did this help or make sense to you?
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