The next time you have a prospective date, even in real life, or there are wolves hanging out at your door drooling over your daughter, just bring out this handy dandy questionaire, guarenteed to chase away all but the the honourable men worth keeping.

Address: __________________________
Screen Name: _____________________
Fax #:____________________________
Car Phone #:______________________
Date: ____________________________
Intentions: ________________________
(Provide additional sheet if needed)

Also, please provide 15 local references.
1. Your state
2. Your state of mind
3. Your age
4. Your favorite age
5. Your occupation
6. Your preoccupation
7. Your martial status
8. Your favorite marital status
9. Your true marital status
10. Your favorite book
11. Your least favorite book
12. Your favorite hobby
13. The hobby you will never have
14. The hobby you are trying to find time for
15. Your third grade teacher's name
16. Your favorite teacher's name
17. Your driving record's worse offense
18. Your mother's favorite memory of your childhood
19. Your Aol record's worst offense
20. Your favorite foods
21. Your least favorite foods
22. Food you simply wont put up with
23. Your religious preference
24. Your political group
25. Your favorite tv show of all time
26. Your least favorite tv show of all time
27. Your favorite type of music
28. Your least favorite type of music
29. Your showering habits
30. Your favorite pastime
31. Your least favorite pastime
32. Your favorite household chore
33. Your least favorite household chore
34. How many animals do you own
35. What kind of animals do you own
36. Are their shots current
36b. Are your shots current
37. If you dont own any, why not
38. Last park you went to and when
39. What organizations do you belong to
40. Are you a veteran
41. How long have you been on Aol
42. How many screen names do you currently have
43. How many screen names have you deleted
44. Why did you pick your current screen name
45. How many windows are in your home
46. How many nights a week do you cook
47. What is your income level
48. How many of your childhood toys do you still have
49. How many children do you have
50. What are their ages and sex
51. How many still live at home
52. Where would you go on your honeymoon
53. How many of your children will go to college
54. Did you take drugs in the sixties or seventies
55. How many flashbacks do you still experience
56. Were you a hippie
57. What is the longest your hair has ever been
58. What class would you put yourself into today
59. Do you have a tattoo
60. Do you have any part of your body pierced
61. Are you planning on retiring soon
62. Do you have a retirement plan
63. Do you have a savings account
64. Do you have a major credit card
65. Do you like apple pie
66. How much television do you watch
67. How large is your Christmas card list
68. Do you write letters by hand
69. Do you write people thank you notes
70. Do you have a list of friends that you can count on
71. Do you have old fashiones manners or liberated manners
72. What is your style of dress
73. Where do you buy your clothes
74. Who buys your clothes
75. How tall are you
76. Do you sleep on the right side or the left side
77. In what state does your family live, parents and siblings
78. Are you content where you live
79. Are you planning a major career change
80. Where would you retire if you could retire anywhere
81. What is your favorite sport
82. Do you smoke anything
83. Do you exercise
84. How big is your long distance phone bill
85. How big is your 900 phone bill
86. How big is your sense of humour
87. Do you enjoy holidays
88. What size hat do you wear
89. What is your favorite vacation idea
90. How many children do you wish you had
91. How many grandchildren do you have
92. Are you mechanically inclined
93. Who fixes your car and other applicances
94. What kind of computer do you have
95. What is your idea of romance
96. What colour is your home
97. Who landscaped the front yard
98. Do you own a bar-b-que
99. Do you own a bread maker
100. Is your can opener mechanical or electric
101. How long does it take you to get dressed and ready to go
102. Do you do things spontaneously
103. How loud do you turn your music up
104. Do you have a car phone
105. Do you have a fax machine
106. Age you lost virginity
107. Place you lost virginity
108. Name of person you lost virginity with
109. Are your stored flashlights in working order
110. Do you refill the sugar jar without being asked
111. Last time you brought a woman flowers
112. Last date of visit to Victoria's Secret
113. How many bars of soap are in your home
114. Do you fold towels back up or lay them whereever
115. How many IM's can you handle at one time
116. Do you pick up after yourself
117. Who does the dishes in your home
118. Who takes out the trash in your home
119. What is your mother's birthday
120. What is the last time you washed dishes
121. What is your birthday
122. What is your favorite singers birthday
123. Do you recycle
124. When was your last big fight with wife or girlfriend
125. Who won
126. When do you do your Christmas shopping
127. Do you make New Year's Resolutions
128. Do you keep New Years' Resolutions
129. When is Valentine's Day
130. How many people that you met on line have you met in person
131. When is Fourth of July
132. Ever cook a Thanksgiving dinner by yourself
133. Was it edible
134. What did you use for stuffing
135. Have you ever sent the wrong IM to the wrong woman
136. When was the last time you went to church
137. What is favorite colour
138. What is your wife or girlfriend's ring size
139. When was the last time you said a prayer
140. How much is a gallon of milk
141. Do you own a library card
142. Favorite non-alcoholic drink
143. Favorite alcoholic drink
144. What is the colour of your hair
145. What is the colour of your eyes
146. What is your wife's or girlfriend's favorite colour
147. What is the date of your anniversary
148. What make and model car do you own
149. How many people are on your buddy list
150. How many are female
151. The date of your last oil change
152. How much do you spend on computer software
153. How many poems can you recite
154. What version encyclopedia do you own
155. How many time a week do you backup your hard drive
156. How many viruses have you downloaded
157. How many times have you formatted your hard drive
158. What is the name of your child's current teacher
159. What is your child's best friends phone number
160. What is the name of your family doctor
161. How many times do you call in sick to work and you are not
162. What is the name of your wife's gyn
163. How many hours was your wife in labor with first child
164. Who wrote Winnie the Pooh
165. Date of last dentist visit
166. Date of last crisis
167. Have you experienced a mid life crisis
168. Did you own a leisure suit in the seventies
169. What is your favorite nursery rhyme
170. Did you attend Woodstock or want to attend Woodstock
171. Did you burn your draft card
172. How many pillows do you sleep with
173. Do you replace the toothpaste cap
174. How often do you feel bedsheets should be changed
175. Do you put the toilet paper roll on backwards
176. Do you leave the seat up or down
177. Do you put empty containers back in the frig or cupboard
178. What is the size of your freezer
179. What is in your freezer
180. Do you own a cook book
181. Do you drink from the carton of milk
182. How much junk snail mail do you get
183. How much is a stamp
184. What do you do with mail incorrectly delivered to your home
185. How many wavs do you have
186. What is your favorite wav
187. Do you dye your hair
188. Do you have a mustache or beard
189. Do you have a toupee or are you bald
190. Do you attend a health club
191. How many nails do you allow in your walls
192. Do you chew gum
193. Do you like anchovies
194. What is your favorite pizza
195. What animal would you like to be
196. What is your sign
197. What is your favorite snack food
198. What is your wife's or girlfreind's sign
199. The colour of your car
200. Do you have a web page
201. Do you own an electric or manual lawn mower
202. Do you wear briefs or boxers
203. When did you last clean your keyboard
204. Do you snore
205. Do you eat at your computer
206. What watt light bulb goes in the front porch light
207. How many key do you have on your key ring
208. How many newspaper subsrictions do you have
209. How many of them do you read
210. How many keys to other women's home do you have
211. What kind of camera do you own
212. Do you like big forks or little forks
213. How many pairs of shoes do you own
214. Are your undies and socks stored together
215. What temperature do you wash socks in
216. How many pens in your home work
217. Do you own a laundry hamper
218. Can you program a VCR
219. Do you own a recliner
220. How many taped movies do you own
221. When was the last time you lost money
222. How much did you lose
223. Do you watch soap operas
224. Do you like Oprah
225. Do you have a little black book
226. What is the age of your ideal woman
227. What is the height of your ideal woman
228. Would you do it all over again
229. What would you change
230. Where are your paid bills stored
231. How many years do you keep filed tax returns
232. Ever you been audited
233. What do you wipe up oil spills with
234. How many pairs of scissors are in your home
235. How may phones do you have
236. What is the difference between an annual and a perennial
237. Do you own a coffee maker
238. What is the date of your last IQ test
239. What was the result
240. Have you tested for Aids
241. Do you suscribe to Playboy
242. Do you prefer clutter or stark decoration inyour home
243. Do you own a calculator
244. Can you sew on a button
245. What day is you car registration due
246. What is your preferred skirt length for women
247. How many shirts do you own
248. Are you right or left handed
249. Do you chew with your moth open or closed
250. How many books do you own
251. Are there magazines in your bathroom
252. How many ties do you own
253. Do you sleep with the windows open
254. If you own pets, do they sleep indoors or outdoors
255. What do you crack walnuts with
256. When was the last time you went camping
257. What is your idea of an expensive dinner date
258. How many blankets do you sleep with in the summer
259. How many blankets do you sleep with in the winter
260. Do you sleep right next to your spouse
261. What additional languages do you speak
262. What is your most irritating habit
263. Are your fingernails long or short
264. What length fingernails do you prefer on women
265. Painted or plain
266. What is the date of your last hangover
267. Where do you spend Christmas
268. What is your idea of a waste of money
269. What time is your preferred time for dinner
270. How many jackets do you own
271. Do you prefer gold or silver
272. How many CD's do you own
273. What day is garbage day
274. What was the last time you lit a fire in the fireplace
275. How often do you travel outside your state
276. Does your car leak oil
277. Do you own your home or rent
278. What was your very first job
279. Why did you leave your first job
280. What is the date of your last cold
281. How do you handle being ill
282. How well do you take advise
283. How often do you ask for advise
284. Do you ask for advice from men or women more often
285. What is a sensible amount to spend on a loved one at Christmas
286. What is the limit you wold spend on a loved one at Christmas
287. What does Christmas mean to you
288. Do you eat breakfast
289. What is the way to a woman's heart
290. How many bumper stickers do you have on your car
291. Who is your ideal woman
292. Who is your ideal man
293. When is the last time you cried
294. What is a sensible punishment for a child lying 
295. When is the last time you lied
296. When was the time before that time
297. What does death till us part mean to you
298. Are the majority of your male friends married or single
299. How long do you plan on being with Aol
300. Do you like yourself
301. Are your shots current
302. How early is too early for sex
303. How many pairs of shoes should a woman own
304. How do you react to tears
305. How well do you take subtle hints
306. Do you remember birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine's Day without nagging
307. Do you know how to change oil in a car
308. Do you know what mauve is
309. Can you cook
310. What are the three kinds of laundry loads
311. What are the basic food groups not including chocolate, beer or Twinkies
312. What is the name of your first pet
313. Who taught you manners, and when
314. Do you know your mother's middle name
315. What is the outside fork at the dinner table used for
316. After how many miles it is acceptable to admit you are lost and ask for directions
317. How many hours a day do you spend on line
318. Who is your hero
319. Do you leave the seat up
320. What do you plan on doing when you retire
321. How many dishes can you prepare without looking them up in a cookbook
322. Do you like to go shopping
323. Can you let someone else control the television remote
324. Do you think Scott Peterson is guilty
325. Can you sing the anthem or know any of the words
326. Your favorite midnight snack
327. When did you lose your virginity?
328. Who did you lose your virginity with?
329. When was the last time you borrowed money?
330. Who did you borrow it from?
331. How much did you borrow?
332. When did you pay it back?
333. Have you ever tried an online dating service?
334. In what department are capers in a grocery store found? 
335. What kitchen tools are required for making a creme brulee?
336. Your favorite garden plant

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