There are no coincidences.

How many times have I written or said that? Most likely, as many times as I have expressed the thought that this medium, the internet still amazes me. Ten, fifteen years ago, the ability of meeting people across the world as we do now simply was not possible. I am now permanently connected to "Sissies" and brothers I will know the rest of my life.

A "threshold" is a term I came up with a long time ago, right after I had experienced my first one. Let's see if I can describe this accurately.

An event occurs, or is about to occur, ie meeting someone, going to an establishment, placing an envelope into a mailbox, picking up the letters from your mailbox, something new is about to enter your realm. Time stops. Imagine walking through a doorway. Just as your foot crosses that threshold and merges with the space of the next room, but is still in the air, time stops. In those brief nano seconds, you know, beyond any doubt, that what is about to occur, just occurred or is occurring, will change your path, your life, your fate forever. It might not be a terribly large change, or it might be of revolutionary proportions. You don't know why, you might not know what. You are simply sure that it is. You know that you can't stop the change as your foot has already entered into that space. It is a mute point, the change has already sprung into life. Time continues. You put your foot down and touches the floor. All bets are off.

While thresholds are not common, real coincidences are scarce. Five brief hellos in one week with a neighbor at the market could be a real coincidence, but seeing I have boldly stated there are no coincidences, I shall refer to this as a fluke. Seeing that neighbor after both of us have thought about contacting the other for the last few weeks is not a coincidence. Going to the phone to call Mom and having it ring with her on the line is not a coincidence. Meeting someone on line who enjoys exactly the same life style, values, hobbies and thoughts you have is not a coincidence. Noticing a screen name of someone in a group you belong to, and feeling a tug when you have never spoken to that person or read their words is not a coincidence. Accidentally being in a chat room one day where you meet the love of your life is not a coincidence.

Everything has a purpose, a reason, whether we see it or not. We might not act on the events that lie in our path and wind up in a completely different path than what might have been originally offered. (More on the Oak Tree Theory here.)

A story, made as short as possible:

I met someone on line (something I abhor to see others do out of fear of a dishonest person, more on that later) and this man from Utah gave me the strength to become 'me' again. He churned up my thoughts and we lived to discuss theory, religion, time, philosophy, you name it. I looked forward to the next nightly discussion because my brain was fired up for the first time in years. I was back in the college days in the seventies! I had spent what felt like a lifetime more concerned with the price of peanut butter, diapers and the bare survival of a twenty year marriage that was fading fast. I found the strength I needed to leave a husband who was rapidly becoming someone I did not know, someone who had struck my children, a stranger I wanted to avoid. After leaving, I was settled in a new home, seeing the man from Utah, planning a new life amidst continual uproars and violence from my divorce. I met a local widower (online) and we immediately became good friends, spending some time together (as friends) with Utah's knowledge and blessing as we were so far apart, and friends are desperately needed at times like this. Next, Utah pulled the rug out from under me by telling me he had fallen in love elsewhere. My world spun and crashed. After I recovered from the hangover and peeked out of the darkness, I realized who was watching over me, the mutual affection that had quietly developed the last few months, who I would happily spend the rest of my life with. The widower. There are no coincidences.

Moral to the story? Everything happens for a reason. Even when we lose a child, when a beloved dies, when a deep trust is betrayed, when we are at a total loss and completely dominated with the thought "Why me?" there is a plan, a purpose, a reason. No matter how gruesome life appears to be at the moment, how dark or dismal, how meaningless, futile, or hopeless.

Something good comes out of every bad event. Look around with an open heart and an open mind to see what may be right in front of you. Even if you can't see it, trust that it is there.

It's our role, our job, our life's task, our duty to find it, use it, learn from it, and grow because of it.

There are no coincidences.

Written by Sharry Anne Stevens 2004, all right reserved

Return to Inside Anne
Return to Packrat Main Page