Imagine, a circle on a piece of paper, or, draw one.
There is your brain space. A blank canvas. What fun. What possibilities!!
  Now, decide what you think about, what takes what kind of time, energy during your day. Put as many things in your circle as you feel really occupies your thoughts during a typical day. Assign each thought or subject as much space as you spend on it, including big problems like an out of control teenager, can't find a desperately needed job, etc. Since my life has been consumed with a particular problem (marriage) and my kids are home again because of their break ups, my circle looks like this.

What is wrong with this picture? No time for Anne!! Gee.

Ok, so. I am all consumed with thinking about my marriage, fighting. I get up in the morning and worry, worry, worry.  I go to sleep wondering, worrying, thinking, projecting. I think if this happens, I will do this, but then, if this happens, I will have to do this and I can't because of this or that. My friends forget what I look like, the plants die, the bills don't get paid, my health is deteriorating. What are ya gonna do?

Accept it or solve it. If you can solve it, the problem magically goes away and ceases to take up space. If you can't solve it right now, accept the fact that the situation exists. It might not be fun or pleasant, but it DOES exist, in its current condition.  Accept it for what it is, right now, today. It is what it is, and it is not what it is not.  It is your truth. So, for right now I am going to solve what I can, package the rest away and save it for a rainy day.  I am going to STOP spending so much time thinking about something I really can do nothing about today. After all, it isn't going anywhere. It is still going to be there, so why bother living and breathing it when it can't be solved right now? Plus, thinking about that particular item all the time is interfering with all the other things in life, like my job and really causing more problems in the long run. So, to the back burner it goes.

  Wow, check it out.  Look at all that space! Now, empty spaces are not found in nature, so that void is going to fill, naturally. It is going to be up to ME as to what goes into that space. The plants have to be watered in order to survive (thusly to maintain my income), the animals need feeding (and I really do love my babies enough to feed them and keep them healthy), the laundry needs to be done (I like clean clothes) AND I need some time for ME.  After all, who will take care of me if I don't? I have to be my first priority (and be healthy mentally and physically) before I can be there for anyone else.
  Da DA! Here we are now, with the marriage problems tucked into a corner, not gone, but not taking up my entire life anymore. I made room for ME. I made room for other things in my life that are not only just as important, but also within my control. Hubby, marriage, it's still there. Looks like I get to deal with my kids next. I don't need to solve the problem, I just need to look at and re-adjust the time I spend thinking, worrying and fretting about them.  "No matter how you worry, pace or fret, things will be as they will be."

Did this help or make sense to you?
Anne would love to know (email her, Anne at

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